What is...??

Mid-summer report of my inaugural experience at Camp NorthStar (among many changes in life) seems to be a daunting task as I attempt to compact it all into one blog. While I should be blogging on a weekly basis regarding camp, somehow the time just slips by/I am WAY too tired to stay up at night/stay late after camp to get it out. So I will categorize:

CAMP:

"The Son of man did not come to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many."

- Matthew 20:28

Truth...Jesus came to serve, but His service in this act of humility on earth was more than what the definition of "service" can cover. It contains perfect reactions (or lack thereof) to any and every frustration he experienced. No amount of planning or lack of planning for what he walked into on a daily basis ever surprised or moved him. I have been humbled (so to speak) in reflecting/considering my reactions and over-reactions to frustrations that I have experienced in the chaos that is Camp NorthStar. Tough to consider/digest during week 1, but God is good and redeems us in our sin.

Amidst the fatal crash of my iphone, spilling of 4 gallons of water in my car, the breaking of my "replacement" phone, getting stitches in my lip and bruising cartilage in my rib, the things that consume my mind and plunge me to tears in moments of weakness are the thoughts of the pain, struggles and hardships that many of these kids reveal to me in their daily interactions with me and each other. Many of them are not taught to "channel" their emotions in a healthy way, and in fact are TAUGHT to hit back if someone hits them. They are born into "survival mode" and no amount of teaching/instructing at camp is going to "fix" any of them over a period of six weeks. Yes, it will invest truth and plant sound judgement and wisdom in them, but not being reinforced at home leads me to consider that many of the efforts seem too much to for walking forward with heads up, encouraged. Yet again, we are back to the need for COMMUNITY change - this is not something NorthStar can do on its own - we need the CHURCH.

"Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

- 1 Peter 4:12-13

LIFE:

While Camp very much is my life right now, I can't help but contrast what I was experiencing a year ago, and even one month ago. Im now living downtown in Park Place apartment homes, literally neighbors with some kids at camp and very much "doing life/neighboring" with the demographic who Im working with. The investment that I receive from my roommates when coming home to the apartment is much of the "community fuel" that keeps me alive - praise God for community. My role at Camp All-American last summer was Director of D2 - I served/worked as Director under the latter job description. Here at Camp NorthStar, I am assistant director, counselor, disciplinarian, CORE Leader, janitor, nurse, van driver, water retriever, public relations rep and staff coordinator. Any given day can and does include all of the above. Investment and a refuge on the home front is necessary, and the irony of living "down town" is the fact that it is a refuge with which I can identify with the families I am serving and working with. I am no longer separated from the lifestyle and demographic from my life investment, yet this is even more "connecting" and equipping for me, all the while giving me REST in a home.

So I ask myself this...what is effective ministry? How do we "accomplish" what we are and were set out/created to do (esp now in the context of NorthStar/Camp NorthStar overall)?? Yes, the Spirit works in us to will and to act according to His good purpose, but so often we compartmentalize "ministry" and do just for the sake of doing, without stepping back and praying for a vision and big-picture purpose to what we are trying to accomplish. I am challenged by this thought and desire to take to time step back and consider this both throughout the remainder of the summer at Camp NorthStar, as well as in hindsight of the summer when all is said and done. Our standards that we live (Park Place!!!), work (NorthStar!!!!) and move (EVERY WAKING MOMENT) by are not according to the standards of this world (and what is or is not effective nonprofit/ministry/life) but rather are the standards of Jesus...we will suffer, we will face hardships - and thereby IDENTIFY with Him and what He experienced, but we must continually consider where the Spirit is leading and be willing to adjust and readjust to follow His perfect will and plan.