Collide and Merge

I had a.. "Im really not in college anymore" experience this week as I traveled back to Birmingham two days after Christmas. Paul has been giving me a hard time for calling my Christmas break "short" when, in all reality, it was longer than what the average working person gets any given year. However, Im used to the Samford Jan-term schedule of getting out of school the second week in December and not returning until late January...spoiled. Those days are over!

This week turned out to be a huge blessing though. I got some time to myself in the evenings and was able to do things that I otherwise would have put off if there were people in town to hang out with. All in all it was a good week to just "be."

Monday - Wednesday mornings I took about two vans full of NorthStar soccer kids to the Briarwood Holiday Camp where we merged with white suburban soccer playing kids. This was one of my first experiences of "colliding" our players with "Over-the-Mountain" kids in a non-competitive setting (ie normally we're playing against them...this week we were all on the same "team). At this camp, we were all playing together with one purpose: to glorify God through the game of soccer. The memory verse was Ephesians 5:15, "Be careful how you walk, not as unwise but as wise." Camp consisted of both soccer and devotional times, sharing with the kids what it means to be "wise," how to "get wise" (Proverbs/the Word), and how to have a relationship with God to sustain this wisdom. What an amazing opportunity this week was to use soccer as a vessel of sharing the Gospel with kids from two completely different cultural backgrounds.

I coached the 8 and 9 - year olds with the NorthStar and Briarwood population pretty much split among the players. It was amazing to see how easily the kids merged culturally through the game of soccer. I think it was good for both groups of kids to get to play with each other and realize that "kids are kids." However, the week was not without a moment (or two...) of conflict. The reality of the difference between the two groups came out when one of the NorthStar boys slipped up in a heated moment and made a comment about a Briarwood girl's race. He immediately put his hand over his mouth, knowing that he had said something inappropriate. My heart sank seeing this unfold, but the teachable moment quickly came to mind and I jumped on it without hesitation. I explained to the boy how she is his sister and we are to treat all of our brothers and sisters in Christ with utmost respect and love...the word "sister" was startling to him, but I know it somewhat sank in because later in the day he commented on how if he and the other players are brothers and sisters, then I must be his "aunt" :) he asked if he could call me "Aunt Val"...Absolutely.

Being at home in Atlanta was sweet, comfortable, encouraging; however, it masked the reality of where I am called to be. Investing into the "colliding" and "merging" of NorthStar kids with Over-the-Mountain kids is an opportunity that I wouldn't pass up for anything. Seeing one of my NorthStar girls bond with a Briarwood girl and them begging me to be on the same team was a beautiful picture of unity in Christ.

"Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all."

- Colossians 3:11

The Reason.

So it has been a LONG while since I have last blogged (sorry Paul...). MUCH has happened over the past month, and I honestly don't even know where to begin!

I'll start with the 3v3 tournament - what a blast/challenge it has been planning this. It has driven me to really take action on making connections and bringing in program sponsorships. While no "official checks" have been received, there have been promised partnerships, and overall "buzz" about NorthStar has begun to circulate in the worlds of soccer, corporate, and personal connections. I have had a "meeting" scheduled everyday for the past 3 weeks with people who know people and people who are giving advice, support or a pat of encouragement on the back. The thing I love about all of this is that I have names, faces and stories behind this "program" that I am raising support for. All of the hours put in on and off the soccer field have ignited in me a spark of passion that only continues to grow for these kids and their families.

I have to admit, though, that the "task-driven side" of me has gotten extremely overwhelmed and anxious with everything that is going on. It has been a daily battle...task...necessity to focus on why I am doing what I am doing. Yes, the kids, their families, the opportunity for life-on-life discipleship and investment is HUGE. But the reason behind all of this goodness is Jesus Himself.

I want to make much of Christ...for people to see Him in me and for me to be able to proclaim His initiatives and drive in me. My friend, Mr. Paul (not Paul Neville, though he is my friend too) who works in the Princeton Elementary Cafeteria told me last week that he sees something different in me. "It's like a light, or something. Those kids are attracted to you..." Jesus, may he see you as the light. May the children be attracted to you in me.

"I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining." - 1 John 1:8

My task has been and will be over the coming weeks and months to generate print-based material to recruit program sponsors. This money will be used to sponsor the soccer program. The soccer program will be open to returning and new kids. These kids will get exposure to the Gospel through the words and life-example of the coaches. The Gospel will take root in the kids, who will become young disciples of our King. These disciples will go into their homes and share the Good News with their families. These families will be changed by the light in their children. The community of and around NorthStar will be cross-centered and cross-driven to live and give and serve to MAKE MUCH OF CHRIST...poor or rich according to standards in this world, they all will become eternally rich because of their new-found hope in Christ. This is my vision, and I believe God's heart, for the impact of the NorthStar Soccer Club.

Lord, lead me, Paul and those working behind the scenes and at the front lines of NorthStar to MAKE MUCH OF YOU. Make us less and weak so that you may be great and our strength. May we look back on this time, Fall 2009 and the coming days, and say "Only the Lord could have made these things happen." Im excited to be a part of this awesome plan.

I don't know what Im doing..

Seriously. I dont!

I feel like I need someone to pinch me - the soccer season is over and I am moving into "post-season work" while Im reflecting on what this season was. I cannot believe I have been so blessed as to have been a part of the amazing work that the Lord showed off this Fall.

Now that the season is over, people are asking me "What are you going to do?? Anything??" Oh - if only you knew!! There is so much going on, and I am THRILLED to get to have my hands in and on the projects and tasks before me.

1) 3v3 tournament partnership with Homewood Soccer Club. I initiated the idea to the Homewood Soccer Club Director and found that it was an idea he has wanted to do for his club for a while now. The two of us have decided to partner together to put on an early spring 3v3 tournament held at Homewood Soccer Club, splitting proceeds 50/50. I get to do all the marketing/PR for the event and I have already created a draft of a sponsorship letter that we could use in recruiting sponsors (individual efforts by each club - we just need a consistent presentation from both sides). Stay tuned on this one...I'm young. These people are experienced (aka they have years behind their knowledge and have no reason to give me grounds to provide input...I just graduated college for crying out loud!?!)

But Scripture says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." - 1 Tim. 4:12

My confidence/adequacy is not (and should never be) based on my age or experience, but rather in the "confidence of Christ" who is in me and equips me for all work in Him.

2)Website updates. Im getting to rewrite/develop all of the content for the revamping of our webiste...much needed.

3) Personal/Soccer Program Sponsorship Packet. Oohhhh my. There is a LOT of money that needs to be raised, and there are SO many ways to go about doing this. I have a "skeletal base" for this sponsorship packet, but the context of where I present/send it and the needs for which I am asking will vary...its one of those things that I need to "just do." Lord, give me favor with those to whom I present the opportunity to partner with me and NorthStar! This is your work that I am seeking funds for...not mine.

4) Initial Gala Planning/Marketing Development. Yep, working on Gala marketing as well. We need to jump on the initial plans to make sure we have necessary information and material to present the event, as well as sponsorship opportunities for this too...

Seems like the key word(s) all across the board is recruiting sponsors/presenting sponsorship opportunities. Yikes. Seriously - I don't know what Im doing. But its FUN. and Im learning. This is humbling and definitely a challenge, but I know that any success that comes from any of this work cannot even be "mistaken" for great work done by a human being. Nope - this post-fall and pre-spring soccer season is perfect grounds for the Lord to show off His "sweet skills" :P

My prayer: May I not loose focus of the reason why I do what I do. The same reason I have one breath after the next and also the same reason why I can proclaim with confidence that this world is not my home and my purpose here is beyond myself. Yes, in all of these things, the cross of Christ is what compels me - to work, live, love, and play.

"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all..." - 2 Corin. 5:14

Discipline

"The Lord disciplines those whom He loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? In you are not disciplined - and everyone undergoes discipline - then you are not legitimate children at all. Moreover, we have all had parents who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! Our parents disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

- Hebrews 12:6-11

Such sweet and real words to me today. Last night was a crazy "Tuesday Hang Out" group logistically and with the kids. For some reason, they were more rowdy than normal - getting into fights, disrespecting each other, neglecting to listen...I was more frustrated last night with them than I have ever been.

We took the kids rock climbing at Samford's Alpine Tower. Everyone got to climb and they all had a blast. I had to take 2/3 of the group to Cici's for the soccer team end of season party directly after, and the other 1/3 had to go back to NorthStar to meet their parents. Amidst the chaos, I finally was able to "round up the troops" to have a heart-to-heart before we left. I had my serious face on and was "letting them have it," for lack of a better way to put it. I was beyond frustrated, and they could see it in my eyes. Despite this frustration, the looks on their faces made me realize that they were concerned because I was concerned.

While I'd like to say that everything was great immediately after, I can't. The kids in my van were still beyond disrespectful to one another. But in reflecting on all of this, I notice that my frustration and pure anger was a different kind than I have felt before. I love these kids (despite their neglect to listen and respond) - more than any group of kids I have ever built relationships with. When they are out of line, they must be disciplined and dealt with in order to grow. But the kind of disciplining that will last is that which is done out of love for them, just as the Lord disciplines us out of love for us.

I want to keep in mind that while they may not like me while I discipline, the greatest act of love I can show them at that time is to continue to be firm in my discipline, in hopes of planting seeds that will lead to "righteousness and peace" in them as they go on in life.

The Paradox of Pouring Out

After being thrown into the role of "Soccer Program Director" at the brink of the Fall soccer season, I must say that a situation that could have been very disastrous and overwhelming (I didn't - and still kind of dont :) - know what I was doing...) has become very fruitful and encouraging. I have spent my Friday nights and entire Saturdays driving all over Birmingham to the various fields attending and coaching games for my kids.

To be honest, entering into this job, the concept of spending countless hours at the fields with the kids seemed a bit like an obligation. But with each week, event and interaction with one of my kids or their families, I can't seem to get enough. Relationships are not obligations. It is not a relationship if it feels like an obligation. Thank you, Jesus, for molding my heart in such a way that I want nothing more than to just be around these kids.

BUSA Shootout Tournament weekend, Oct. 10-11:

I got to drive the girls to the games in the ministry van (experience in driving my family's conversion van in high school has shown its worth here... ;). We played 2 games, went to Zaxby's for lunch and "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" in between the games. After an exhausting day of coaching and 10 hours of 9 screaming LOUD girls, I was completely exhausted on our drive back. The girls had not lost an ounce of energy after such a full day, but despite feeling so lacking in energy, I could do nothing but smile and laugh at the chaos that was still so present. In this moment, I could fully attest to the patience, joy and peace of Christ Himself. He bestows that upon us when we need it most and when we have done all that we could to pour ourselves out to His children. An evening where my flesh was completely empty, my spirit was completely full and alive.

Relationships are real. They take work. But the paradox of following Christ is that when we give ourselves fully - physically, emotionally, mentally - we are given Him fully. Pouring ourselves out only makes us more full than we could ever imagine to be.

Reflection after 1 month (9/13/09)

Here is my update I wrote in an email to close friends and family from the end of my first month:

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Well it has been an AMAZING first month of life in Birmingham and at NorthStar Youth Ministries. I have definitely faced challenges and have often felt burdened and discouraged, but the Lord has been so good in providing me eternal encouragement through His Word and time with His community that He has blessed me with here.

This past weekend was the start of our fall soccer games. Our U8 games were cancelled Friday night due to crazy Bham rain, but we got to play on Saturday. I felt "Camp All-American Val" come alive for the 5 1/2 hours I was there and LOVED every minute of getting to coach these kids. Its so weird being on the "coaching side" of rec soccer (by the way, I got invited to a soccer coaches' shindig a couple weeks ago where I would have been hanging out with people who coached ME growing up...crazy!?!) Im figuring out through practices that coaching is a bit harder than it may seem, which is weird considering the fact that I played for 14 years. With all the logistics concerning team rosters, communication to parents, and getting my "stuff" together as the soccer program director, I am learning/have learned how much I don't know and how much I cannot control. There are moments when I feel SO inadequate, humbled, and like Im in over my head, but its those moments when the Lord has reminded me that it is not me but Him who causes all things to happen and work together as they do. Good or bad, its the Lord's doing and its His glory that should be recognized. Im thankful that I have His Spirit which has compelled me to take initiative and seek to be His "hands and feet" here at NorthStar.

Im spending one day a week eating lunch with my kids at one of the elementary schools where a bunch of them go. I love getting to know these kids, and the love I feel for them is purely from above...I feel like I have 85 kids of my own who I want to see grow in the grace and truth of our Lord. And NorthStar is receiving great exposure - we have been in the West and South side news sections of the Birmingham News for the growth and my hiring in the soccer program! Wednesday I was invited to be a guest attendant with a law firm to the Alabama Humanities Annual Awards Banquet. The keynote speaker is the author of the book, "Outcasts United," which is about a refugee soccer team in Clarkston, Ga. Im thrilled to get to represent NorthStar at such a "prestigious event" :)

Paul and I have been working through communication differences...We have identified our different personality types and the balance/compromising that the two of us need to make in order to effectively communicate as a "team." We are both open and willing to work through it to sharpen (and humble) each other throughout the process of reaching that balance. He has never worked with anyone full-time at NorthStar before, and I have never worked a "job" (outside of CAA :) ...the Lord clearly has intentional and greater purpose than what was expected in my time here, and much of that is coming out in mine and Paul's communication experiences.

I have been going to the girls Juvenile Detention Center and have spent time with one girl who was there back in November. We have had the opportunity to build a solid relationship through the foundation of Christ, and it has been amazing to see her grow. One of the biggest differences about my time at juvy, and in Birmingham overall, is the way the Lord has opened my eyes, mind and heart to seek solution to the injustice and oppressive situations that people are in, specifically young girls. There is so much in the darkness that people, including myself, will turn away/run from. But we, as the body of Christ, are responsible to praying for these people/situations and looking after those He puts in our lives. I look forward to continuing to learn about the city of Birmingham through my juvy friends, and I hope to be a vessel of hope for them when they are sent home.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. It's amazing to experience the Lord encourage me through His body.

Reflection from Week 1 (8/14/09)

After my first week here (back in August), I sent an email to close family and friends with an update of my week's experiences...here is what I sent:

Friday, August 14, 2009

Well I have made it through my first week of "work" - I can hardly call it a "real world job" because I am doing something that I am so passionate about. But before I even begin to describe what this week has been, I hope and pray that each of you will realize that we are individually created with gifts and a purpose to do "specifics" in the name of the Lord in our time here. Not that I have found my exact "life calling" or that I know everything that I was created to do, but after one week with NorthStar Youth Ministries, I feel pretty confident that this is exactly where the Lord has me for the time being. I have found what makes me "tick," what moves my heart toward compassion and what energizes me to do and act in a way that only the Spirit can lead.

The NorthStar Soccer Program has huge potential for VERY positive impact in West Birmingham. To give you an idea of the demographics, 55 percent of the general area around NorthStar earns an annual income of less than $20,000. The NorthStar fall soccer season costs $20 for U6, $30 for U8, $40 for U9/10, and $50 for U12. Upon the "closing" of registration today (very loosely stated...), we had about 1/4 of the payments made for the kids participating. I have "inherited," so-to-speak, a program with a mission and vision to provide opportunity to kids to just get out there and be a part of something that will impact their lives in a positive way. However, the follow-up on payments by participants can often be a challenge, and it is my job to ensure that funds are raised to bring in not only program expenses, but also scholarships for players who cannot pay.

Along with this realization throughout the week, I was able to organize all of our registrations, interact with the kids and their families Monday night (at the "Welcome Coach Val/Registration Party), write a rough-draft mission statement and vision statement for the soccer program, and begin to make contacts with area soccer programs for advice/help in ensuring my kids will get a quality soccer experience at NorthStar. There is much work to be done - a LOT of organizing is needed - and I have been jotting down idea after idea to take this program in the right direction...both structurally and spiritually.

Another thing that has hit me hard is the fact that I have (materially) so much…why!?!? Why do some have so much when others have so little. Whether it be financially and materially, or even just simply relationally and opportunely, it just doesn’t seem fair. I was extremely convicted this week, especially today as Friday, with the fact that I am walking around this ministry with my iphone, mac and Nikon camera when people are struggling just to sign their kids up for the cheapest soccer league in the city. This world is so broken and off-kilter. Oh Lord, never let me live in a place and state of mind where I am blind to this!

Also, I am realizing how much I really need to be around people. I nearly went crazy today after spending much of the day by myself in the office working on miscellaneous things. Yes, I was productive, but when the time rolled around for me to meet with Paul, I was DONE. I need to be able to meet with him at the end of the day for a "day-concluding update meeting," but I felt drained from being "alone at the office"...I think that's the extrovert in me. All I needed this afternoon was a good run and evening hang out time.

I realize too how much this big change in life is taking out of me emotionally, mentally and physically, though I do feel the Lord has led me through sweet time spiritually. I forgot my pin number earlier this week, I really don’t have as much of a crazy appetite as I normally do, and Im DYING to run everything out of my system when I get home…we’ll see how I feel in couple of weeks when Im more settled…

In my time with the Lord this week, He revealed to me verses in Colossians that I must set my mind and heart on throughout my time with this ministry, and I ask you to participate in prayer with me/for me with this scripture in mind:

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

- Colossians 4:2-6

Birmingham. NorthStar. REAL Life.

Well I finally feel like life has become "reality" in Birmingham. And just as that "feeling" has settled in, the craziness that I have grown accustomed to over the past 4+ years (and that was honestly MIA for the past month and a half) has returned.

I have taken on the role as "Soccer Program Director" for NorthStar Youth Ministries and have received amazing experience and exposure to life in ministry and in the non-profit realm in the two short months that I have been working here. Paul and I have been learning how to work together as the "staff of NorthStar," and I have been given full reign to go and do as the Lord leads. I am slowly realizing that "urban ministry" requires life investment, and I am more than along for this ride.

What an amazing opportunity!?! To get to call "work" eating lunch with kids one day a week at Princeton Elementary, overseeing soccer practices two nights a week, spending time with 9 & 10 year old kids Tuesday afternoons, making connections with both corporate and non-profit "professionals" in the Birmingham area, getting invited to Birmingham events just because my picture was in the paper, planning and living through a "real" Birmingham soccer tournament, taking one of my soccer players to Hotcakes at McDonalds...and the list goes on. This is life-on-life work and ministry put into one. And this is my job.

Paul has donned me "Social Media Guru," so here goes this blog...

"'It is not for your sake that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name'...says the Lord."

- Ezekiel 36:22

May He receive all glory and honor through this adventure that He has placed me on! NorthStar is growing, and so am I.