Unfortunately, that kept me from writing about one of the most fruitful (if not THE MOST fruitful) seasons of ministry I've ever experienced! I wish I could tell of every detail (even remember every detail), but what I do know and remember is that the Word was taught. Seeds were spread and the Lord made much of the soil fertile. Personal relationships built between me and so many of the U10 girls players were more energizing than any "event," gift, drug, whatever one might turn to for an uplifting experience. Between soccer 3-4 days a week and Tuesday Group, I spent more time with this team than I ever have. Walls were torn down between me and certain individuals, the Lord opened the door for life lessons to be taught, and lasting Kingdom impact was had on me and the team as a whole.
Then the tornado hit, forcing a quicker end to the soccer season and ministry activity than what was planned. There were only a few NorthStar families directly/indirectly impacted, but the community as a whole gathered around those who lost everything and we were able to pray, provide and encourage in such a difficult situation.
Summer 2011...what a time. The wedding was more than perfect - honestly like a dream to me - and then I hit the ground running in June with Camp NorthStar, quickly followed by Samford Soccer Camp for two weeks, then a strong finish through the end of Camp NorthStar. It's been a challenging couple of weeks for me. I've wanted so badly to be fully invested in Camp, pouring myself out to the kids and staff, helping to solve issues and proactively taking steps to make sure everything was being taken care of, yet that was not my job this summer. My job has been to FOCUS on planning the Fall soccer season and overall soccer program, as well as Bible Camp time in the afternoon. On a personal note, my main investment in ministry is to my HUSBAND, whom I've been married to for almost 2 months! Building a strong foundation to our marriage has been a top priority!!
In the context of ministry and marriage, I'll close this post with a "spiritual thought" -> I have found myself to be "useless," a "failure," and "ineffective" according to my standards this summer. However, the Lord has opened my eyes to the fact that whether in a fruitful ministry time (like last spring!) or a lull, my work before him is like filthy rags. I have NOTHING to offer Him - EXCEPT...my heart. In the same way, my cooking efforts have been a FAIL, our apartment is lacking decorations and comfort, and I've straight up been lacking in Joy at times in my marriage, and yet Carson married me for ME, not for all those things! Marriage is teaching me that my bigger issue is attempting to find success and acceptance in what I do, rather than who I am before the Lord (and the state of my heart). I cannot control my life - the Lord can. Oh I can resist His control and try harder and harder to manage my own situations, but in the end, it is the Lord who holds my life in the palm of His hands, and my submission to Him is what He desires.
So I'm eager to enter into another season of ministry at NorthStar Soccer Club this Fall - with a heart open to serving the Lord wherever and however He calls me, yet acknowledging through it all that it is not my deeds that justify me but rather my open heart to serve Him. And I'm excited to continue in this "newlywed" season of life, with a husband to serve and love and realize that I am loved by him for who I am, not what I can do for him!
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