Standing in the Gap

Mid-September looks much like late February/early March...SOCCER packed to the MAX. The past few weeks have seen some late nights and early mornings of scheduling logistics, season planning, email sending and spreadsheet creating. MARS League scheduling is kicking my tail, though Ive only had one and a half "breakdowns," which look nothing like last spring in the first season of that league. I still can't believe Im in that position -- 23 year old female amidst all middle-aged men on the MARS League Board with the majority of them looking to me for direction/instructions on what "I" need to make this league happen. Hilarious. If only they could see the "Samford Soccer Girl" in me -- I think they would second guess putting me in a position of leadership for MARS ;P

It feels AWESOME entering into my SECOND YEAR as Soccer Program Director at NorthStar. While there are still frustrations, glitches and days when I feel like a crazy person trying to get everything together, I feel I am better able to foresee what needs to be done and cast a vision for the direction that I need to be going. The registrations have been right around the same as last spring, and the familiar faces in both the kids and the parents are so refreshing -- the NorthStar Soccer families are truly becoming my community.

After returning from Brazil, I noticed how the Lord has me in the exact place Ive been praying to be in "overseas." Inner city Birmingham is so different and unfamiliar to me culturally, and my efforts, investment and intentions here are coming from my heart to eventually do that "over there." For the time-being, I am here and there is no where else I would rather be. Living in Park Place has been a good experience outwardly, though I don't feel like I have "neighbored" and/or invested into the community as I first intentioned to do so. One of my soccer moms who almost moved there asked me how I like living there and when I suggested that I wish we were neighbors, she herself said, "Coach Val -- youre NEVER HOME!" -- so true...living in and among a culturally different community requires actually being there in order to be effective. Needing some direction with how to adjust to that specific realm of life...

Then there's NorthStar Soccer growing in strength and presence in and among the teams in the MARS League. As MARS League Administrator and also the "go to person" for any complaints within to against NorthStar Soccer, Im seeing more and more the challenge that comes with cross-cultural integration. Teams/players/parents who sign up for recreational soccer in Birmingham aren't necessarily signing up for a cross-cultural experience...though when they play NorthStar, that is what they're getting. Even my players have asked why they don't play teams "like them." God, help us to see each other the way you see us!!! It hurts so badly to "stand in the gap" (thanks for the terminology, Paul) of families who I continually grow so close to and the issues that are surrounding games/circumstances with the differences in culture and background. I want so badly to see life and people through the lens of God, and of course want that for everyone else as well.

NorthStar Soccer will continue to grow strong -- you would think that I could anticipate when amazing things of the Lord are about to happen because recently they've been prefaced with situations of "attack" and challenging circumstances that I know the enemy delights in throwing on my life. God is good and if He is for us, then who can be against?

Got to share NorthStar and all that the Lord is doing with the program at the AWSF Board meeting last weekend. It wasn't with eloquent speech or words but was sheer truth of the hand of God at work in inner city Birmingham and NorthStar Soccer Club. What a blessing and privilege it is to get to share the Lord's story -- this is NOT mine, but I will carry it and proclaim it for the sake of His Holy Name. AWSF couldn't help but be on board with the program because HE is in it!

Here's to a great season of NorthStar Soccer....

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." - Ephesians 6:12-13

Year Close Out

I am just 9 days short of reaching my first complete year at NorthStar, though activity-wise I've already made it! I cannot believe its been ONE YEAR!!! On one hand, time has flown by so fast; but on the other, I feel like I've had 5 years of experience in just 365 days.

After a crazy-hard 6 weeks of Camp NorthStar, I hopped on a plane with 8 high school soccer players from Briarwood Soccer Club and flew down to Brazil for 10 days of a life-changing and ministry-perspective adjusting experience. While unsure of exactly what role I was to play with those girls and on the trip overall, I knew the Lord had aligned everything "just right" for me to go. Earlier this summer, I was asking, "What is effective ministry?" While that question can never be answered in its entirety because it cannot be measured according to human standards, I do believe that I have been given a glimpse of where to begin with the answer.

It took me flying down to Brazil to be able to step back and reflect on NorthStar and ministry life in Birmingham. First of all, the missionaries, Comunidade Horizonte church leadership and CO workers down there are doing the same things I am doing - we are giving our lives to our cities in the context of what will "meet them there" in order to share our lives and essentially the Gospel with the people we interact with. "There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." - Ephesians 4:4-6

We are One in our labor for the Lord, and making friends in the Brazilians and seeing their intentional ministry was so encouraging for me as I reflected on my friends, community and ministry calling in Birmingham.

The other thing about their "ministry" was how prayerfully thought out every action, relationship and activity was. The team had arranged on itinerary for us months ago thinking it would be the most effective, but after logistics fell through and more time was spent in prayer, our group was led to playing soccer games against the American School, who CH did not have any contact with prior to our coming/playing of games against them.

Overall, we did less actual "ministry work" than I was expecting, but the time spent at the orphanage, with the American School girls, and "partying" with students in the community was all gearing attention and direction toward the Church, which will be longer-lasting than the impact we can have in one week.

Prayerful, well-planned and intentional ministry is effective. We did not bite off more than we could chew this week, but took each day one at a time and tackled it in prayer first, relationship second, and more prayer third.

This summer was hard. I do believe I was somewhat "spiritually burnt out" going into my week in Brazil. Not to say that everything is all of a sudden better, but I do know and believe that the Lord pulled me outside of my immediate work to show me where my focus has been somewhat off. I've had good intentions of investing into the counselors from camp, pouring myself out to the campers and their families, and planning for all "big things" we'll do at NorthStar. However, the reality is that my focus has been on the ministry work, rather than the One who I am working for. I've seemed to let my eyes slip from the prize, that is, Christ Himself, and I have let them wander off to things, plans and actions that I can control, measure and develop.

"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord..." - Philippians 3:7-8

Knowing Christ and following Him will lead to intentional and effective ministry. I fall into the lie that if I let myself rest/have any downtime, Im not being effective/am wasting time. While that concept needs to be balanced with truth in efficiency, I pray that the Lord would lead me into this next year of ministry through prayer and intentional planning. I want to be relational and go after the "one," knowing that the life impact had on one or two individuals with care can be "more effective" than broad and impersonal reaching of the many.

There is so much more to be said and added from both Camp and Brazil, but knowing that Birmingham is exactly where the Lord has me and feeling excitement and anticipation for what comes next leads me to believe that ministry in year 2 will be effective as longs as its deeply rooted in the Lord.

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." - Phil. 2:13

Positive Focus

At this point in the summer, being just over the half-way mark of Camp, all I have is my hope in Christ...everything I have is my hope in Christ. Ive heard, seen and experienced a variety of situations and conversations that further confirm the Fall of Man (as if I didn't know/see it already) and the brokenness that we experience in so much of this world. One of the groups at camp is having a hard time getting along, and Jewels and Adam are working with them to help them focus on the positives of each day. As humans, it often takes 10 positives to make up for every 1 negative. However, that is for the mind without/not focused on Christ. We must focus on looking at the positives of what is before us at camp (and in life in general, of course). Mom always thanks Jesus for our many blessings before meals at home in ATL ...yes, we have many blessings. But our ultimate blessing is Christ Himself; so when campers disregard authority, counselors get burned out, and discipline issue after discipline issue occurs, I want to be able to see all the above as blessings and then move forward to see what is good around me as well:

- our awesome elementary and middle school coordinators (and the fact that one of them is a roommate and close sister in Christ with whom I can share this experience)

- the fact that all of camp is on one campus

- our amazing swim instructor AND photographer (both in one person - check out our facebook page for her great pics :)

- counselors whose hearts are fully in it and are working their tail ends off for the kids and ultimately the Kingdom

- every individual high-five and hug from a camper

- 5 and 6-year olds dancing to Justin "Beaver"

- running into camp kids and their families at Walmart during after-hours

- and even the hard disciplinary conversations with campers and their parents....

I believe I've blogged on this next concept once before, but over half-way through Camp, I can't help but reflect on discipline and how it leads to stronger, deeper and more real relationships with each camper who has to be corrected. Hebrews 12:4-11 tells us that the Father who loves disciplines His children. Though it's not pleasant at the time (neither for the one being disciplined or the discipliner) it produces a "harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." God disciplines us "so that we may share in His holiness." Therefore I do believe in Psalm 139 when it reads that God knows each day we live and each word we speak before one of them comes to be - mistake or not...Good or Bad... He knows. We learn, grow and become holy as He is holy all through the process of correction and discipline.

Yet an additional thought/aspect to add to this: the kids who I have had to discipline the most/strongest, are the ones who are the most friendly with me after-the-fact. They are the ones saying hi in the halls, giving me hugs and high-fives and going out of their way to call out "Coach Val!" every time they see me. Why on earth!?! I was just "coming down hard on them" the day before, and now I am those kids' "best friend"

...makes no sense... to the world.

...makes all sense... by the standards of the Kingdom.

God disciplines us so that we can share in His holiness - us sharing in His holiness allows for us to be close to Him. He is love and therefore we experience true love and life when we are near Him (disciplined and purified of our sin/"bad" actions through our relationship with Christ). So when we discipline children the way God disciplines us, we are cleansing them of what is not right and allowing for the relationship from leader to child to be restored, and therefore made stronger.

We were born to be directed in the right way. We need direction. Praise God that the slogan of NorthStar Youth Ministries is "Helping Youth Find Their Direction." We are a relational ministry and seek to give kids the best life-direction possible.

Discipline and correction --> Relationship --> Gospel opportunity. Yes. Good plan.

What is...??

Mid-summer report of my inaugural experience at Camp NorthStar (among many changes in life) seems to be a daunting task as I attempt to compact it all into one blog. While I should be blogging on a weekly basis regarding camp, somehow the time just slips by/I am WAY too tired to stay up at night/stay late after camp to get it out. So I will categorize:

CAMP:

"The Son of man did not come to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many."

- Matthew 20:28

Truth...Jesus came to serve, but His service in this act of humility on earth was more than what the definition of "service" can cover. It contains perfect reactions (or lack thereof) to any and every frustration he experienced. No amount of planning or lack of planning for what he walked into on a daily basis ever surprised or moved him. I have been humbled (so to speak) in reflecting/considering my reactions and over-reactions to frustrations that I have experienced in the chaos that is Camp NorthStar. Tough to consider/digest during week 1, but God is good and redeems us in our sin.

Amidst the fatal crash of my iphone, spilling of 4 gallons of water in my car, the breaking of my "replacement" phone, getting stitches in my lip and bruising cartilage in my rib, the things that consume my mind and plunge me to tears in moments of weakness are the thoughts of the pain, struggles and hardships that many of these kids reveal to me in their daily interactions with me and each other. Many of them are not taught to "channel" their emotions in a healthy way, and in fact are TAUGHT to hit back if someone hits them. They are born into "survival mode" and no amount of teaching/instructing at camp is going to "fix" any of them over a period of six weeks. Yes, it will invest truth and plant sound judgement and wisdom in them, but not being reinforced at home leads me to consider that many of the efforts seem too much to for walking forward with heads up, encouraged. Yet again, we are back to the need for COMMUNITY change - this is not something NorthStar can do on its own - we need the CHURCH.

"Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

- 1 Peter 4:12-13

LIFE:

While Camp very much is my life right now, I can't help but contrast what I was experiencing a year ago, and even one month ago. Im now living downtown in Park Place apartment homes, literally neighbors with some kids at camp and very much "doing life/neighboring" with the demographic who Im working with. The investment that I receive from my roommates when coming home to the apartment is much of the "community fuel" that keeps me alive - praise God for community. My role at Camp All-American last summer was Director of D2 - I served/worked as Director under the latter job description. Here at Camp NorthStar, I am assistant director, counselor, disciplinarian, CORE Leader, janitor, nurse, van driver, water retriever, public relations rep and staff coordinator. Any given day can and does include all of the above. Investment and a refuge on the home front is necessary, and the irony of living "down town" is the fact that it is a refuge with which I can identify with the families I am serving and working with. I am no longer separated from the lifestyle and demographic from my life investment, yet this is even more "connecting" and equipping for me, all the while giving me REST in a home.

So I ask myself this...what is effective ministry? How do we "accomplish" what we are and were set out/created to do (esp now in the context of NorthStar/Camp NorthStar overall)?? Yes, the Spirit works in us to will and to act according to His good purpose, but so often we compartmentalize "ministry" and do just for the sake of doing, without stepping back and praying for a vision and big-picture purpose to what we are trying to accomplish. I am challenged by this thought and desire to take to time step back and consider this both throughout the remainder of the summer at Camp NorthStar, as well as in hindsight of the summer when all is said and done. Our standards that we live (Park Place!!!), work (NorthStar!!!!) and move (EVERY WAKING MOMENT) by are not according to the standards of this world (and what is or is not effective nonprofit/ministry/life) but rather are the standards of Jesus...we will suffer, we will face hardships - and thereby IDENTIFY with Him and what He experienced, but we must continually consider where the Spirit is leading and be willing to adjust and readjust to follow His perfect will and plan.

Soccer Year Review...Year of Firsts

So I mustered up the time and energy last week to post my "closing remarks" relating to soccer, and while I was doing so I logged out of my gmail account, which correlates to this blog...NOTE TO BLOGGERS: don't log out of gmail while blogging!!! You lost your latest post!!

I can't believe my first "full year" of soccer is through - still going through my "Year of Firsts" as I prepare for Camp NorthStar (which starts in less than a month!!). This first season of soccer was quite an adventure...in short (that's a relative term), I will recap a few key words that help to sum up my experience.

Soccer: Good word to start with in a "recap soccer blog post." While it is a simple word for a recap and obviously the essence of what I do at NorthStar, this word has a completely new meaning to me. Once a passion of mine back in the days of rec and club playing experience, I now recognize it as a passion of the Lord. My experience of not getting playing time at Samford turned out to be God's way of breaking soccer from me and releasing it back to Him. Instead of stripping me of the passion altogether, He has strengthened it in me and has shown me that my dreams of one day playing "professional" pale in comparison to how He is using it in my life down the path of community transformation - both in Birmingham and around the world. I am blessed to be an ambassador of the King through the sport in the inner city Bham, and over the past couple months I have had the opportunity to meet and connect with people from all over the country and world using the sport to impact lives in spiritual, physical and emotional ways. Amazing to think that this is a time of harvest, as well as preparation, in regards to my past and future soccer experience, passion and exposure. Im excited to see where God leads me in this drive...soccer is no longer a "convenient tool" to use in the context of ministry; it is now a piece of "gold" carrying potential for worth far greater than what can be measured on this earth.

Perspective: When I first started at NorthStar, I was enthralled with the "culture change" and "inner city" aspect of where I am. While the difference between Mountainbrook and Legion Field area is like night and day, it seems to phase me less and less with the more time I spend in the area with my kids. I see the looks on "over the mountain" parents' faces when their kids came to play against our kids on our home turf at Legion Field, and it takes many of them a good bit of time to ease tension and realize that we are just another club in the area looking to have a quality recreational soccer program. There has been much emphasis on "neighboring" and doing life with the community, and even through those emphasized discussions and concepts, perspective is not changed until you spend time and build relationships with those around you. Im sure my perspective will continually change with time that I am here, but its less of a "big deal" and more of a reality to me that I am here in the "inner city" getting to work for this ministry. This is life. And my perspective is coming from within.

Sovereignty: I love how this word and concept of the Lord is the over-arching cover and thread over and through our lives. Yet it seems more personal to me in light of my first year with NorthStar Soccer. From relationships/conversations Ive had with the kids and parents in the program to networking connections that have been made through "random" people/scenarios, God's sovereignty has been over it all. I get almost anxious thinking about how amazing everything worked out and how I had nothing to do with the initiation and outcome of His outpouring of goodness over the past 10 months. Yet anxiety should be the opposite reaction as I consider these things - TRUST and FAITH knowing that He has taken care of the big and small things and will continue to do so is where my heart and mind should lie in relation to this experience. Praise God for His sovereignty.

That was very broad, but overall it seems to be the bird's eye view of what I am walking forward with in my next experience at NorthStar. Camp this summer will definitely be a journey and one that will provide me with new challenges and adventures...no Camp All-American!!! First summer in four years that I have not returned to Duluth for a CAA adventure...this is a year of "Firsts" so this summer is fitting and will be one to remember.

Praying that "CAMP, PERSPECTIVE, and SOVEREIGNTY" will take on new meanings at the end of it all - something familiar yet different in Camp, perspective toward/with/through a whole new pool of kids and a witness of God's hand in and through every life involved in the six week Camp will be yet another picture and opportunity to platform the sovereignty of God.

Beyond Our Measure of Faith

Some of life's toughest moments are when we are faced with realities that we cannot change. To each of us, God has given a measure of faith. I strongly believe that He gives us challenges and allows us to climb obstacles that are one step outside of our measure of faith to grow and refine us.

Last night, the parent who I referenced in the last blog post showed up drunk at the end of practice. All of the kids had been picked up (including hers) and she just pulled up into the parking lot and sat there until I walked up to her car. When I went to the window, I had no idea what I was about to face: a pungent smell of alcohol, slurred speech, and bloodshot eyes. She appeared to not know why she was there...couldn't even speak a clear and understood sentence. Well...by the grace of God:

- I had seen her kids picked up earlier by their grandmother to know who they went home with

- She did not crash on the way over to our practice fields

- I was able to talk her into turning the car off and handing me her cell phone so I could call someone to pick her up

- Sharon and some coaches were still there to help oversee the situation

- Paul was close by to come down and help support as well

While I was affected/bothered by her statement to me last week regarding me not being as "happy" as I was last season, I now understand where she is coming from regarding her current state of life. However, it leads me to consider that I don't know what anyone is going through or where anyone is coming from. I must seek to be Christ to any and everyone who I interact with, praying that His light and love would seep through me into and around those Im encountering.

Thinking about the situation last night also gave me a heart check - I want to be more burdened/broken for the situations and lives of those around me before my own. Jesus cared so much for others (us) - even leading him to the point of death so that we might live...

So in this situation and those like this that I will face in the future, I do pray that God will increase my measure of faith in Him to stretch beyond it's current state - faith that He will show up in a way that displays His glory and for our good, and faith that we will grow outside of ourselves and learn to love others the way Jesus loves us.

Refinement

Some things are hard to hear...

Like last night - one of the soccer moms who is ALWAYS demanding my attention when SHE'S ready, regardless of what's going on around me or who I'm already talking to, told me that Im not as "happy" as I was in the fall. I don't care how demanding, irritating, or selfish a parent can be, I must ALWAYS present the face of Christ to her - the authentic and genuine, selfless and giving face and heart of Christ...

That was hard to hear, but it compels me to seek more of Christ in me to display more of Christ to them.

Since I started at NorthStar, Ive seen Paul get hit with a lot of challenges and trials that are unavoidable and, many of which, are not due to anything he did or didnt do. Upon the closing of "Gala season," we went through $$$ figures for camp this summer - behind by $40,000...yes, that's four zero's and five figures. Talk about stress. But then some words give him an even bigger blow when he was confronted with a "truth moment" - parts of which may be truth, but other parts definitely not. He has become like family to me, so seeing Paul affected affects me.

We are team and this team is facing challenges from the outside. I am CONVINCED, though, that we will only grow and seek more of Christ through these things. Looking ahead/forward to being on the other side of the mountain that we have to climb will encourage us to keep going. And ultimately knowing that there is so much more to all of this than just climbing mountains (raising $40,000 in two months) and also knowing that we live and move from the perspective of VICTORY in Christ, then I say bring it on - we'll take it :)

Other side updates:

Hill School - more and more conversations being had with the janitor and PE coach...praise God for relationships built there. And today a kid asked me if we could start a "talking club"...haha...sure

Soccer - a referee asked me one Friday night if he "would get shot down here." I scoffed at him and said no way...well i still hold to that, but the very next morning while we were moving goals off the field, a group of guys dressed the same shot a gun off behind a house across the street from our field...praise God that wasn't an hour earlier when I had kids and parents down on the field.

Discipline - wow these kids need it. Praise God that he disciplines us when we're in the wrong...so many of the kids Im working with now are lacking it in a variety of different aspects/ways in their lives and Im reminded that patience is not my virtue...needing and growing in that!

So...does anyone have $40,000 extra they're willing to donate to camp :)

haha...but seriously. Go to our website to sponsor a camper NOW!!!

$600 for the whole summer

$300 for half the summer

$100 for one week