Beyond Our Measure of Faith

Some of life's toughest moments are when we are faced with realities that we cannot change. To each of us, God has given a measure of faith. I strongly believe that He gives us challenges and allows us to climb obstacles that are one step outside of our measure of faith to grow and refine us.

Last night, the parent who I referenced in the last blog post showed up drunk at the end of practice. All of the kids had been picked up (including hers) and she just pulled up into the parking lot and sat there until I walked up to her car. When I went to the window, I had no idea what I was about to face: a pungent smell of alcohol, slurred speech, and bloodshot eyes. She appeared to not know why she was there...couldn't even speak a clear and understood sentence. Well...by the grace of God:

- I had seen her kids picked up earlier by their grandmother to know who they went home with

- She did not crash on the way over to our practice fields

- I was able to talk her into turning the car off and handing me her cell phone so I could call someone to pick her up

- Sharon and some coaches were still there to help oversee the situation

- Paul was close by to come down and help support as well

While I was affected/bothered by her statement to me last week regarding me not being as "happy" as I was last season, I now understand where she is coming from regarding her current state of life. However, it leads me to consider that I don't know what anyone is going through or where anyone is coming from. I must seek to be Christ to any and everyone who I interact with, praying that His light and love would seep through me into and around those Im encountering.

Thinking about the situation last night also gave me a heart check - I want to be more burdened/broken for the situations and lives of those around me before my own. Jesus cared so much for others (us) - even leading him to the point of death so that we might live...

So in this situation and those like this that I will face in the future, I do pray that God will increase my measure of faith in Him to stretch beyond it's current state - faith that He will show up in a way that displays His glory and for our good, and faith that we will grow outside of ourselves and learn to love others the way Jesus loves us.

Refinement

Some things are hard to hear...

Like last night - one of the soccer moms who is ALWAYS demanding my attention when SHE'S ready, regardless of what's going on around me or who I'm already talking to, told me that Im not as "happy" as I was in the fall. I don't care how demanding, irritating, or selfish a parent can be, I must ALWAYS present the face of Christ to her - the authentic and genuine, selfless and giving face and heart of Christ...

That was hard to hear, but it compels me to seek more of Christ in me to display more of Christ to them.

Since I started at NorthStar, Ive seen Paul get hit with a lot of challenges and trials that are unavoidable and, many of which, are not due to anything he did or didnt do. Upon the closing of "Gala season," we went through $$$ figures for camp this summer - behind by $40,000...yes, that's four zero's and five figures. Talk about stress. But then some words give him an even bigger blow when he was confronted with a "truth moment" - parts of which may be truth, but other parts definitely not. He has become like family to me, so seeing Paul affected affects me.

We are team and this team is facing challenges from the outside. I am CONVINCED, though, that we will only grow and seek more of Christ through these things. Looking ahead/forward to being on the other side of the mountain that we have to climb will encourage us to keep going. And ultimately knowing that there is so much more to all of this than just climbing mountains (raising $40,000 in two months) and also knowing that we live and move from the perspective of VICTORY in Christ, then I say bring it on - we'll take it :)

Other side updates:

Hill School - more and more conversations being had with the janitor and PE coach...praise God for relationships built there. And today a kid asked me if we could start a "talking club"...haha...sure

Soccer - a referee asked me one Friday night if he "would get shot down here." I scoffed at him and said no way...well i still hold to that, but the very next morning while we were moving goals off the field, a group of guys dressed the same shot a gun off behind a house across the street from our field...praise God that wasn't an hour earlier when I had kids and parents down on the field.

Discipline - wow these kids need it. Praise God that he disciplines us when we're in the wrong...so many of the kids Im working with now are lacking it in a variety of different aspects/ways in their lives and Im reminded that patience is not my virtue...needing and growing in that!

So...does anyone have $40,000 extra they're willing to donate to camp :)

haha...but seriously. Go to our website to sponsor a camper NOW!!!

$600 for the whole summer

$300 for half the summer

$100 for one week

In One Month

Its been a month since I last blogged and as much as I say that I plan to change that pattern (or lack thereof), I must be real and say that you can believe regular updates when you see them.

The urgent often phases out the important, and then once I actually get to the important, the less urgent but longstanding investment "to-do's" are always pushed to the side...if I even get to considering these tasks, the urgent usually refreshes itself to consume me even more.

And I find this overflowing into my spiritual life, too, which is NOT ok. Jesus teach me to make you, your commands, Words, voice, guidance ALWAYS the urgent - even amidst the other seemingly urgent things.

So what has this month looked like? In a few words...

- multiple sharings of the Gospel at Hill School

- variety of connections made through random introductions (Spero, Discovery Clubs, Community Living thoughts...)

- 125 + regular kids out at Monday night skills; and continued attendance to team practices and games

- two games and 15 + Vestavia Hills (Liberty Park) parents watching their kids play soccer at Legion Field (their initial faces were priceless, though I think they adjusted once they realized soccer downtown is the same as soccer in Liberty Park)

- 300 + MARS League games scheduled (God, give me patience with coaches, DOC's and referees in this area - scheduling and maintaining games for an entire recreational league has definitely been more than I can handle. Not everything is spiritual from the outside, but everything does have purpose. Hold onto that, Val...)

- one week to catch up on my kids' spring break including a 24 hour flu bug...so much for catching up...

- Two trips to ATL...13.1 miles of running and a future UGA student (congrats MADDY!!!)

- a solid relationship built and friend made in the Hill School PE teacher

- 4,600 miles flown to California and back for a 90th BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!

- 6 practices and games rained out in just two weeks :(

While I could probably go on and on with things that have been done, seen, learned and experienced, I want to direct just a few moments (sentences?!?) to my experience in and around Hill School.

First, Hill School was on the front page of the Birmingham News a couple weeks ago listed in a big "F" as a failing school in the Bham City Schools system. Not OK - that they're listed like that by name and also that they even meet that criteria to be listed there. But I believe it. The kids have NO discipline, NO respect for authority, NO respect for each other...Ive never seen anything like it. The PE coach (a woman I greatly respect and admire for her patience and perseverance there) stood before them in fury at their behavior when two classmates got in a fight. They just laughed in her face...WOW. Even kids who would "test the limits" in my classes growing up and groups at Camp wouldn't even do or (not) respond the way those kids did Coach. I couldnt believe what I was seeing. One of the kids (whose home situation is abusive foster parents after he was taken from his mom due to her addiction to illegal drugs...) curses to his classmates saying some of the most awful things Ive ever heard - he's SEVEN.

Ive talked to the coach about what these kids need, and the bottom line is that they need JESUS. Their parents need spiritual and life transformation that can come only from an encounter with Christ, Himself, then we'll get to the other issues. Father, rise up your Church to intercede and be your hands and feet in this community! This is not something that I, an organization, or even a few individuals can do and accomplish on our own!! No - we need the power and presence of the Spirit, first, and this power to fill the body to move and act in West Birmingham - the public housing areas around Legion Field. I often feel like I am driving through what looks like Jamaica when driving to and from Hill School - this is not a good area and these kids need life investment and direction.

ENCOURAGEMENT: Last week I got to share the Gospel with one of my 5th grade friends, and her friend who was around told me about Thursday afternoon Discovery Clubs (a group who does Bible study with the kids one day per week). I was pumped and immediately Googled the organization. They do Bible studies one day a week with kids in almost all of our target schools around Legion Field. Paul and I met with the people today...they need volunteers, we need contact with their kids...and we and DC were mutually encouraged by the connection. No more approaching schools cold turkey like we did Hill (where we've obviously received immense favor)...we now can at least make initial contact with kids through Discovery Clubs and move from there. God's soldiers are truly in every nook and cranny of life...we just have to pray to find them.

Finally, consider the concept of "Intentional Living" - is it moving into a community and doing life with them under individual roofs (example: Brook Hills' Radical Local Initiative in East Lake) or something like the Simple Way and living an Acts 2 "Communal Living" style...or both?? What I do know is that what this community needs is more people like Paul and Jocelyn Neville. Years ago they moved their family to College Hills and sought no glory or credit to themselves for the reason and purpose behind their place of living. Heart and a passion to live out the Gospel is and was their motive, and I think we all ought to consider our calling to love our neighbor and how we ought to take that literally and in a Gospel-minded context.

"Love God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind...love your neighbor as yourself." - Matt. 22:37-39

This is why I do what I do....

A Few Spare Minutes

So things are still moving faster than ever, but I have a few spare moments to write an update while I wait for the people from AYSA (Alabama Youth Soccer Association) or Affinity (rec league scheduling system) to call me back.

While we're ALL ALWAYS busy, I can honestly say I have not experienced what I have in this past month since Ive started at NorthStar. Last Saturday (2/20) was the 3v3 tournament and it was a HUGE success. The partnership with Homewood was a good choice and the weather was PERFECT. We met to talk $$$ this morning and with the sponsors who contributed on behalf of NorthStar, the program is walking away with over $5,000!!! SO awesome - especially for our first go-round. We had amazing help from volunteers all over, and getting to work with Homewood was so big for us. NorthStar soccer made its print in the greater Birmingham area soccer world - hoping and praying that it carries on even bigger than what I can see or imagine.

Im notorious for biting off more than I can chew, and then somehow managing to get it done. While Im not 100% complete with the MARS League scheduling, Ive managed to figure out what is needed to be done (and get the work done) as the MARS League Administrator. Have had pretty good contact with DOCs from clubs around Bham so far, and hopefully there will be more to come. For the most part, people have been really encouraging of my efforts - scheduling rec games for over 85 teams is a beast. A big thing Im learning and realizing is that we are in a constant mode of preparation. Where God has put us now is building and preparing us for tomorrow, next week, next year, five years from now. This has given me encouragement and hope in the work Ive been doing on this scheduling stuff. Have had near breakdowns in trying to figure out the process of what even needs to be done, but I know the experience Im getting now and the eternal hope by which I live will not only keep me going and persevering, but will also go beyond what I think the immediate or intentional impact can be - both in my personal experience and to those around me.

So in this time of craziness, I dont want to carry myself in a "woe is me - I have so much to do" mindset because frankly, whether Im busier than those around me or not, no one really cares. I am realizing how much I think of myself, and that's not okay. What is okay is throwing myself before the Lord in response and proclaiming, yet again, that His power is made perfect in my weakness. Its bittersweet being in a place where I feel like I cant possibly do something apart from the hand and power of the Lord...it always reminds me that this place is the constant state of our being, whether we recognize it or not.

Now regarding the start of our season last Monday - wow. We had the majority of our kids show up to every practice. Unbelievable and un-heard of for NorthStar Soccer. Obviously thats not my doing either because my efforts toward communication with families/players has been minimal due to the size of the MARS/scheduling stuff on my plate. We have over 110 kids registered (compared to 75-80 in the fall) and more are calling in each day...will need to cut off registrations soon ;)

Face-time with kids has not suffered amidst the chaos. Praise God. I want more of that - more life on life impact and opportunities to love...whether I feel like it or not, because God is God and loves whether we feel that or not as well.

Lessons Learned

So I don't have time to blog right now at ALL, but this is too good not to document/pass up.

I just got back from a meeting with our Birmingham Southern partners who coordinate with the volunteers. My passion for Christ and sharing the Gospel exploded all over the coaches packet that I typed up and, without really revising/thinking about it, handed to the BSC volunteer coordinators. There is the "requirement" of the declaration of faith all over it, and the language is very much Christianese...well that will scare people away who don't quite buy into it/even believe it. The LAST thing I want to do is make this seclusive "Christian bubble" for my kids and the ministry. There is so much value in "world perspectives" coming in to NorthStar Soccer, and while I want the Gospel to be preached (if necessary use words), teachable moments to be seized, and disciples to be made, opening up the ministry and leadership to those who may not be on the same page could prove valuable for all parties involved.

There is such a balance needed for communicating and sharing the faith. I make an attempt to indulge myself in the Word, remain continually in prayer, and dwell my heart and mind on my faith throughout each moment of the day, but I must consider 1 Peter and how the apostle made it a point to live among the people and culture where the believers were. Not only to live among them but to be a part of them. God, help me to discern how to channel my passion and eternal mindset in a way that translates well to the world around me.

Im am SO thankful for that experience - the past hour of seven people gathered around a table discussing how to effectively unite passion and sensitivity in a way that will communicate well to all across the board. The Gospel does not come into this world without a bit of friction, but God has orchestrated this friction to work out for our good and His glory. Praise be to the God of the Gospel, who has divine purpose in every situation, working out our sanctification in the process. Jesus met us where we were - in the flesh - and lived among us. Let us be like Christ in that we meet the world where they are...becoming like the world to communicate to the world the message of hope that we bear in a way that all may understand.

I love this.

Only a Glimpse...Sheer Facts

A record of God's Faithfulness:

So much has happened in these past few weeks, I honestly don't know where to begin.

In all of it, my mind has gone straight to 1 Corin. 2:4-5...

"...my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God."

Here goes...

Ive taken on a new role as Mid-Alabama Recreational Soccer (MARS) League Administrator. Sitting in a room full of grown middle-aged men, I in my youth and lack of experience was nominated MARS League Administrator to oversee and correlate the schedule for the 14 clubs with recreational teams. This is huge for NorthStar in that I will have the opportunity to directly communicate with DOC's from 14 clubs in the greater Birmingham area, as well as with the head coaches of all the teams. Also, NorthStar will have a significant presence in the functioning of this league...not to mention the additional salary stipend that I/NorthStar will receive for the labor...Yes. Much needed.

Hill School has been named the target school for this spring's soccer recruiting efforts. The school is home to kids in Smithfield community, many of which live in the Smithfield public housing on the north side of Legion Field. Last week Paul and I stopped by to present to the principal the idea of a free soccer clinic held at the school one day a week. I had tried to initiate the clinic at the Smithfield Community Center but was turned down, resorting in the efforts toward Hill. The principal showed me favor and even threw out the idea of my visiting the PE classes (when I started talking about lunch like what I do at Princeton).

So, my first day of PE was last Thursday. I met Coach Bright and we clicked instantly. I found out she is a believer and we left the day encouraged by each other's acquaintance. Tuesday brought Day 2 of Hill School PE, and I walked in the gym to find a woman NOT dressed for PE, on her cell phone, asking me if I would take over class for the day since she had to leave at noon. Ecstatic at the opportunity (though I was TOTALLY being taken advantage of), I accepted and four hours later added "Hill School PE Substitute Teacher" to my many job titles that I have acquired in the last 7 months ;) How awesome is the provision of God in that He allowed me to be in an "authoritative" role to formally introduce myself, NorthStar Soccer, the upcoming Monday clinic and personally hand out the permission slips to every kid in the school, all in the matter of ONE day!?!?! And as for the class...I have no idea where I came up with PE activities for pre-K thru 5th graders...h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s!!! Clinic starts Monday...PRAY!!!!

100% of the coaches I have lined up for the spring season all, literally, came to me. I definitely have made my effort in recruiting, but thank you Lord for the reminder that you do things on your way and your timing. Cosby is a current UAB education student who has college soccer experience, is tutoring at the YWCA one day a week and plays soccer with the kids when the homework is completed. He heard of me through his church and found and sent me a facebook message initiating contact and interest in coaching. After meeting with him and confirming that his heart and focus is in line with the mission behind NorthStar Soccer Club, he told his class about his new commitment and miraculously collected over $200 from his classmates wanting to support the effort. Cool.

And Dawjer is an MK who grew up as a minority overseas...he's craving time in a context outside of the Samford bubble and white suburban coaching, realizing that the generally thought of "uncomfortable inner-city environment" is truly where he desires to be. He proclaimed to me, without any probing on my part, that he wants to invest time and build relationships in a ministry. Um, yes please.

And Lauren has one of the biggest hearts/passions for NorthStar kids that Ive ever seen. As a family studies major needing an internship and Samford Soccer player already investing into the program, its fitting for her to coach this season. Coincidence?? Nope.

Finally, yesterday I received a call from Troy who has wanted to spend time in an inner-city context for years now (has done soccer ministries overseas) and is looking to give his 9 year old son exposure to a context outside of Homewood. He is offering to coach a NorthStar team with his son, 2-3 other Briarwood boys, and 2-3 NorthStar boys. I have been praying for this!?! Didn't even go searching. Came to me. As seems to be the trend, obviously.

And lastly, the update on the Alabama Women's Soccer Foundation story...

I went to their board meeting on Sunday night and walked away with a significant contribution to the spring program with future contributions to be evaluated based on the allocation/use of the given amount this spring. While I am SO excited about this contribution, the thing that made me even more excited and encouraged was their heart and Spirit-led support behind me and NorthStar Soccer. I got to share my story and the program (which has seemed to be the trend in multiple situations this week...) and they were so moved by what God is doing and how NorthStar Soccer is the exact type of ministry that they have been looking to support. Im blown away by their hearts and action behind the support of soccer for the under-privileged in Birmingham. And to think that their foundation started after having to pay off fields down 280, leading to their initiating a thrift store, which has generated enough income to not only pay off these fields but now support multiple soccer-related ministry efforts in Birmingham!?! PURPOSE in all things is His way of working. Sign me up.

There have been other "divine appointments" in these past couple of weeks, but Ill stop with the above. God is at work. And Im loving getting to witness His provision and web of connections. And to think its only a glimpse...

His Power Perfected in my Weakness

His power is perfect in my weakness.

This week I have been sick - bad head cold and feeling just not quite with it. But I have had one of the most amazing weeks in experiencing the hand and provision of the Lord in multiple ways.

First, I was given contact information for people at the Alabama Women's Soccer Foundation back in September or October from a coach at Vestavia Hills Soccer Club (who also coached me in ATL when I was playing club soccer). He said they were interested in supporting NorthStar and for me to give them a call...well I didnt quite know what I was doing at the time, nor did I know the needs I had for the ministry so I put the name/number on a sticky note and stuck it to my wall above my desk...

Last week, Morgan (one of my best friends) got a job at the Clotheshorse, a consignment shop in Vestavia Hills, through meeting the owner "randomly" at a Pilates class at Gold's Gym. She called me Monday afternoon with excitement relating to her new "bosses'" desire to support NorthStar after she shared the ministry with them.

So Tuesday afternoon I had two people on my list to call:

1) the Alabama Women's Soccer Foundation people from the VHSC coach

2) Morgan's boss at the Clotheshorse

It didn't take long to figure out that the two people I had to call were really the same person! The Clotheshorse generates revenue from its two locations (the other being Isabelle's, which is purely donated clothes rather than consignment). The money goes to the Alabama Women's Soccer Foundation, which was started years ago by people involved in the club Alabama Attack (merged with Birmingham United Soccer Association- BUSA). Attack owed BUSA money on soccer fields down Hwy 280 that they purchased, which led to the start of the Clotheshorse and Isabelle's to help pay off the fields. Now that the fields are paid off and the Alabama Women's Soccer Foundation is established with funds to donate, they have been looking for a soccer ministry in Birmingham that is reaching those most in need through the game....NORTHSTAR!!!

The story blows my mind....

- they've had all this money and "tried" to give it away to other soccer-related causes but the process seemed to fall through every time

- this money is rooted from the rough situation of paying off those fields down 280 (God causes ALL things to work for good - He had NorthStar in mind when Attack was struggling financially to pay off fields to BUSA!)

- I had the contact information for at least 2-3 months before I called...how cool is it that the connection through Morgan led to the actual call!

- Ive been working relentlessly on tournament/program sponsorships over the past 2 months, and this one literally just fell into my lap...humbling :)

- It seems the store owners/foundation people are more excited about GIVING NorthStar money on a regular basis than I am about receiving it (and I a REALLY excited about this!!!)

So all that being said, our lives - every relationship, situation, work, play, etc. - is under the sovereign control of our God, "who causes all things to work TOGETHER for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to HIS PURPOSE." (Romans 8:28) I believe that He has purpose and plans for each of us...

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and hope...you will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.'" - Jeremiah 29:11 & 13

Both these verses seem to be thrown out frequently in the "Christian community," but they have taken a personal place in my life after this week.

On top of all this, I got to "preach the Gospel" to Eastern China Buffet in Trussville Tuesday night...one of the girls from Juvenile last spring randomly called me to hang out because she is "trying to find her faith." She was so open to hearing the Truth and wanting to see change in her life. While we were talking, people from booths on either side of us came up to our table relaying the encouragement they were receiving from overhearing our conversation. I had no idea anyone else was listening while we were sitting there...again, the Lord's detailed ways are beyond what we could plan or make happen. He just "does" with us as He sees fit...our role is not for us to determine.

"My grace is sufficient for you; my power is made PERFECT in your weakness." - 2 Corin. 12:9